Ever try stuffing 10 pounds of shit into a 5-pound bag? It’s not pretty.
What “efficiency experts” call Time Management, I call Calculated Neglect. The problem with limits is that you can never accomplish everything that you are either capable of doing or passionate about. Make a list of everything you must accomplish and everything you’d like to accomplish, and I’m betting you’ve got a pretty healthy amount of items. The trick is getting to the stuff you want to do. I’m in the middle of firestorm of calculated neglect and it’s got me down a bit despite all the love and support one man could ever hope for.
Right now I’m working on a project that I am hoping will change my life and change the world, so it’s pretty important to me. In exchange, I had to ship my daughter off for the weekend and drop everything to meet a self-imposed deadline. I pulled back-to-back all nighters with broken naps. Sound familiar? If not, you should write a book, and I’ll buy it.
Family, work, money, play, health, eating, sleeping, school, friends… the person who figures out how to balance a human ecosystem becomes life’s master. The person who doesn’t feel the sword hanging above his head either hasn’t figured out it’s there, or has figured out how to forget about it.
I can’t live half way. When I run, I’m going for marathons. When I drink, I’m coming home late and drunk. When I love, I love fully and without expectations. When I fight, I don’t expect to survive. I’ve tried not giving everything, and it always fails, so I’m careful with what I care about. It’s a difficult way to approach life. It’s difficult to live in a raw state of exuberance because of the constant conflict it creates. The calculated neglect is painful.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
“Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.” ~ Shakespeare, Henry IV
I’m trying to change my behavior to follow the ‘philosophy’ of the universe. I just try stuffing everything into any hole and whatever stays in my hand is what I do. The most useful thing is most likely to be what I’m grabbing, anyway. Shit Karma. When Everything Is Shit, what difference does it make which turd you’re throwing into the bag? Everyone filters the infinite possibilities of their Future down to the model they have in their mind in the Present. Since pretty much everyone has a different model in their head, we just end up accelerating the process of random actions overall, with no consensus on a useful Purpose (the bag). Just keep going balls-to-the-wall from the standpoint of our insane society and any direction will do. You might as well just put the bag over your head and stop trying to stuff shit into it.
Most of us like to imagine we’re running our lives, making shit happen and kicking ass. The truth is more likely that we’re wandering and blundering around, victims of our very own hormones and human nature.
A big lesson I’ve learned over the years is that I’m not so much in charge of other people and things as I appear to be. I’m more like a surfer, never guiding the wave but merely trying to stay upright as I catch a ride on it.
Keep your balance, wax your board ALL the time and ride, bro.
That is powerful stuff, Tommy. I’ve decided that modern American life (and I’m sure there are many other countries) is way too complicated to ever be considered suitable for success or satisfaction in any long-term fashion. I see the complete re-working (simplifying) of my life to be inevitable, and that will mean separating myself from society, at least in part. That scenario has equal parts excitement and sadness for me. I’m just getting tired of fighting a losing battle to a world full of things that don’t really matter.
Murray,
I think you nailed it. The only weapon is simplification. There’s just too much… so adding significant shit is daunting at best and impossible at worst.
Sean,
I like the analogy. I’ve got some surfing to do for the next couple of months, so it’s time to wax the board.
I’ve always felt like a pinball. I just bounce from one bumper to the next and, occasionally, some bastard smacks me with a flipper sending me in the opposite direction.
Nothing, for me, has been more frustrating than with my career. Supposedly, I have above average intelligence, and I spent a shit-ton of money on a degree that hasn’t done dick for me getting a decent paying job. I don’t want enough disposable income as to buy a huge ass boat/home/5th wheel/etc. I just want to do something cutting edge like affording a mortgage on a house that has TWO bathrooms AND put money in savings AT THE SAME TIME! Ya, fuck, living on the edge – that’s me.
I think ‘passion’ is a character trait more than an emotion or event. Someone gives me a job, I stoke up passion about it and do my best. I think this is my ‘fault’ and reason for the proverbial bouncing through life.
If I was burning-passionate about something – like Tommy and this blog – maybe I’d try to make that my career and be so fucking happy I wouldn’t care how crowded our bathroom is and empty our accounts are.
Irony Alert!!… I’m basically a career counselor working for local government. How pathetic is that.